A Wolf That Bleats.

Goodbye Hammie, tho i din get to see ya much later on... i hope u enjoyed ur time with ur owner n brought her more joy than i can.

Lately, i'm beginning to feel i'm becoming a terrible person. Heh maybe some would like to disagree... "You were always a terrible person wat... haha!" But i was thinking of how i was as a person in my younger days (yes, not so young anymore.) These years, i think i've just become a self-serving, bossy, righteous, argumentative, stubborn lil' bastard with double standards.

Maybe cos' something recently made me realize that i've always been expecting stuff from people... but they're not necessarily stuff dat i'm ready to give... or give up. Can anybody ever give so much sorrow to others that they'd rather he not exist? Yeap. Perhaps, i've been like this my whole life... but u noe wat? i was better at hiding my flaws earlier... nowadays i just have no energy to be nice.

A dear fren of mine left for further studies lately. And altho i knew he'd be going, albeit just for a year or two, i only felt really sad when the day approached. Should i have spent more time? should i have done something? Maybe i'm good at making frens but am i good at keeping them? Even a recent class outing made me feel that i've drifted from frens dat i enjoyed company with so much last time. i'm wondering if i'm taking my frens for granted... Or as the cliched saying goes, you'd only learn to treasure what u've lost. Sometimes i have morbid thoughts about how things would be if i just died... or if i were to leave to a faraway place for a long time. Would i be missed? Missed like how i noe some would of yesteryears.

Oh i dunno. Every blog needs an audience, but by the time this is read... i'd probably be feeling alrite again. But till den, let me indulge in this for a while... so i get better faster.